A weird divorce day

Let me tell you about my day.  I woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep.  Today was the hearing for my divorce, and although it is something that I wanted, it still was a little hard saying goodbye to 13 years of my life.  But it wasn’t your typical divorce day.

It started with him coming to my house and me driving us both to the hearing.  Okay that may seem a little weird, but it only gets stranger as the day goes on.  We get to the court house, now remember we live in the country and I forgot that the court house has a metal detector, so before the ex and I get into the court house we both had to be unarmed of our pocket knives. 

Then the  x ray of my fanny pack revealed to me that a ring in the bottom can be mistaken for a knife…I’m not sure why, but it involved having everything searched through by the little old guard who didn’t seem as embarrassed by my tampons as I was.  So finally after having been made less of a threat we were allowed to enter into the majestic halls of justice.

Picture this, we are sitting outside of the court room talking about the date he had yesterday with a very nice lady and we get to laughing and having a good time.  Anyone looking at us would have thought we were friends out for a day of fun, not a couple getting ready to end over 13 years of marriage.  We go into the court room and talk to the judge.  We agree on everything and within 15 minutes, it is over.

Most people go their separate ways but do we?  No we go out to sub way for a sub.  Then since we are out and he needs some calf feed, we go to the feed store.  Then back to my house for 1/2 hour of conversation before he got into his truck to go to his house.  Now I know this is not the typical divorce day, but I am thankful that today was as weird as it was.

We are better friends than we were ever married.  He is a good guy but I haven’t been in love with him for a long time.  I guess the marriage was doomed from the start.  The fact the he is a straight man and I am a gay woman didn’t help matters.  But the one thing we have always agreed on was that the kids would never be in the middle.  And we have never asked them to take sides. 

It is funny how people think we have to be angry at each other and hate each other, but we are friends now more than ever.  Now I know full well there was a time when he was very angry at me for wanting a divorce.  There were many times that he was confused and sad.  And there are still times that he really can’t understand the fact that I am gay.  But for both of us wanting to act in the best interests of the kids have been given a gift too.  The gift of friendship.

He likes my girlfriend and I like the lady he is starting to date.  We even sat together in church the last couple of Sundays.  I have to admit it was funny to see the reactions of those who know our situation.  Picture it, the gay ex wife, the new date, the kids, and their father, all sitting together in one pew praising God and sharing in the worship service.  But I couldn’t help but think, that is the way it should be. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if the church as a whole was so forgiving and accepting?  Wouldn’t it be nice if the church was full of love for one another or at least love for the things we share in common.  Like the life and love of Jesus.  Wouldn’t it be nice for GBLT people to be welcomed to the table even if those already there can’t fully understand homosexuality?  Wouldn’t it be grand if the average pew held the gay ex wife, the mechanic, the pastor, and all the children of God?