What is love?

My Darling girlfriend once asked me what I thought love was.  This was my response to her.  I have been thinking about love alot lately, and I know it is growing deeper and deeper in my heart.  Thank you dear JB for asking me to take the time to think it through and for being there for me in all ways.

What is Love?  There are many forms of love and all can be good.   One form of Love is called Agape Love.  The Greeks used that word to describe pure unselfish love.  I look at this like love for your neighbor, love for human kind, and Love for your higher power.

 

Another type of love is the love of children.  It is not the least bit romantic but it is over-powering.  The love for my kids goes deeper than just loving them because they are mine.  It is a primal instinctual love that demands protection of them.  It demands respect for them and from them.  It requires my heart, soul, and mind.  It requires of me to give of myself both in time and attention.  When they are happy my heart soars and when they are sad or hurt, my heart breaks for them.  It is a responsibility to raise them to be honorable men.  It is trying to give them a firm foundation, or roots to know who they are, and to give them freedom, or wings to discover who they want to be.  It is holding on tight to create for them safety and letting go to create for them their own space and place in the world.

 

Love of family is a strong love.  But in a family, love can be many different things.  I love my mother and want her to be proud of me.  I want to make her proud to say that I am her daughter.  I want her to be happy and have contentment and joy in her life.  I respect her and honor her.  I love my father in the sense that he is my father.  I hate him for what he has done to me but he will always be my father.  I love all of my brothers and sisters in the sense that they are family.  It is true that I love some more than others, but all are loved in the sense that we share a common background and heritage.  So love for my family has many levels and shades. 

 

Then there is love for friends.  This is not love for mere acquaintances or people that I know.  It is deep emotional feelings for those special people who have made their way into my heart.  It is a respect for them for being who they are, it is a commonality that we share, and it is an enjoyment of the time we spend together. It is a shared history and future.  It is someone to talk to and someone to listen to.  Love for my friends is not sexual or demanding.  It is a sharing of this time and space and being better for it.

 

Love has many levels and identities.  There is infatuation, being intrigued by someone and for someone.  There is caring for someone, Caring about how they are feeling and thinking.  There is loving someone enough to be concerned for their happiness not at the exclusion of your own happiness, but in addition to it.  There is loving someone enough to allow them entrance into your heart.  To allow yourself to be vulnerable and open with them.  To trust that person with all of your thoughts and feelings, being able to be honest with them and yourself.

 

 To be “in Love” with someone isn’t possessive.  It isn’t owning them but sharing their life with them.  Being in love isn’t controlling the other but making decisions together.  It isn’t losing your identity but creating one together.  Being in love means sharing with the other person, everything that makes you who you are.  It is wanting to see and talk to someone, wanting to spend time with them and allowing that time to bring you closer.  It is thinking of them often and getting the warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.  It is wanting to hear everything that happened in their day.  It is wanting to share what has happened in your day as well.  It is wanting their happiness as much as your own.  It is the feeling that you are a better person for being around them.  It is wishing and wanting to share their joys and sorrows.  It is the need to be with them and talk to them and listen to them.

 

  Being in love with someone increases the size of your heart.  It doesn’t make you love others any less.  But being in love can increase your ability to love others as well.  Being in love with someone means they do own a piece of your heart.  You give that person permission to nurture you and help you grow in new ways both as individuals and as a couple.  Love does have many forms and faces.  I think being in love with someone includes all of the levels of love.  I think being in love includes the love of humanity, the love of family, the love of a friend, and it includes giving each other roots and wings, and safety and space.  Being in love allows you to be who you are and allows you to learn from each other.  Being in love is wanting to spend the rest of your life learning more about your self and your partner.  It is wanting to go to sleep with them each night and wake up with them each morning.  It is wanting to share your whole self with your love.  It is wanting to show your love in many ways, including physical.  This is what I think Love is.