What is a mother?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about what makes a mother. Is it just the act of giving birth? I don’t think that is true; giving birth doesn’t automatically make a person a mother.

Unfortunately, there are many women out there who have given birth but are not mothers. We have all seen the stories on the news and in the papers, and there are women that trade their daughters for more drugs, use them as little prostitutes for their male callers, and even abuse and neglect their children. They gave birth but are not mothers. Fortunately there are wonderful mothers out there.

Let me tell you about the special mothers in my life. Of course I must tell you about my biological mother. She is a very special loving woman that I am blessed to have. She is funny and sweet and easy to talk to. She is understanding and accepting. She is a one in a million and I am lucky to have been born from her.

My friends K&L, what can I say? They were there for me from the time I was a troubled teen through the years and are with me still. They have listened to me vent, rage, cry, and down right whine and through it all they supported me and gave me compassion. They were little oasis of peace in a rather uncomfortable and trying time.

My elementary teacher N, who was later my Sunday school teacher as well. She literally saved my life. I remember the Sunday I went to church knowing I would kill myself when I got home and as soon as I had a chance. I can’t remember her exact words, but the care and concern and love she showed me that day gave me the courage to fight another day.

Rev. R. who was the first minister to give me the idea that God could be a nurturing loving God and that he could love me as a father should love his children. She spent many an hour on the phone listening to all of my teenage angst and fears.

Rev. S. officiated at my wedding and is the God mother of my oldest child. How many times have I talked to her, written her, emailed her with all of my issues and questions? Too numerous to count. She was the first minister that told me I wasn’t condemned straight to hell because I am gay. The first to give me hope of finding my way back to God. I have been blessed by her many times in my life.

How can I forget D&M, the elderly couple in my church that were never blessed with biological children but who on mother’s day were surrounded by all of the people whose lives they touched? M never carried a child, gave birth to a child, but she was a wonderful mother to all who knew her.

Which brings me to my final thoughts. There are a lot of women who by choice or life situation will never give birth to a biological child. They may adopt and become mothers, or they may mentor children and teens and become surrogate mothers in that way. They deserve our honor on mother’s day. Though the seed may not have been sown through them, they are the ones who nurture and tend to those who need them most. Isn’t that what makes a mother? The ones who care and take care of God’s children and touch countless lives in ways that will never be forgotten? So to all of those special women out there, I say Happy Mother’s Day today and everyday of the year.