Internet friendships

I was asked this question the other day, “Can Internet friendships be REAL friendships?” (the emphasis was hers)  I thought about it for a minute and then I said that yes they are.  Are they the conventional friendships I grew up with?  Not even close, they are very different in a lot of ways, both good and bad.

The biggest difference would be the fact that I have never talked to my internet friends face to face or even on the phone.  Heck, I don’t even know what the majority looks like.  I have never laid my eyes on them or even saw pictures.  I don’t know what their voices sound like and I may never know.  But that has its advantages too. 

You get to read a person’s thoughts and feelings on any given subject.  And the anonymity of it all allows people to say what they are really thinking.  People may be freer to say what is in their hearts if they don’t have to say it to someones face and watch the reaction.  I think people can be more honest. 

But there is a flip side to that as well.  I could be thinking that I am talking to a wonderful lady from Maine and in fact it be a balding, beer-bellied, man from New York that gets his kicks from talking to lesbians on line.  And maybe that is the case with one or two people.  But for the most part, I trust people are who they say they are.  And it is the same way in conventional friendships.  You may meet someone and think they are a wonderful person only to later find out that are a mean person who stabs you in the back.

What makes a friendship real is the intent and care that comes from it.  No I may never sit down and share a cup of coffee with them or see them with their families at a picnic, but we can relate in different ways.  When someone tells me they are having a rough time, I can empathise with them and pray for them.  When I am in a rough patch, they let me know that they are there for me.  I feel concern when I don’t see them on line for a few days or a week.  And I am glad to see them when they get back. 

I can ask for prayers and I can get understanding.  The internet and the friendships formed from it, are a lifeline for me.  I found out that I can be Christian and gay.  I found out that I am not the only lesbian out there that was married to a man and had children.  I found out that I was not alone.  And in the reflections of my on line friends, I have come to know that I am who I was made to be.  I am a child of God, a mother to my kids, and a friend to my Internet buddies. 

So yes, these friendships are real.  And like in the  “real” world, there are levels to the friendships.  There are those that I have met, those that I have learned some about, and there are those that I care about.  And then there are those few that have a special place.  Yes Virginia, There are Internet friends.