Posts filed under ‘computers’

Special People

I just have to tell you about a group of wonderful women that I have met here on line. My Sisterfriends, what can I even begin to say about them? They amaze me on a daily basis. From being a member of the forum, I have had the wonderful opportunity to talk to and get to know some very special ladies. I have never seen the love of God and Christians acting as Jesus would, as I have with these people.

It doesn’t matter what the issue is, someone will write about a problem they are facing and 12 people will chime in to let them know they are being prayed for. And I truly believe those prayers are heart felt and said many times over. And someone will offer some advice and someone else will chime in with more support. And that snowballs until that person with the problem is surrounded by love and prayers.


Or one person may have 20 different tragedies going on, and yet, they stop to ask how someone else is doing. Their life is in upheaval and mourning and yet they reach out to someone else that is hurting. This is not just a one time occurrence. I have seen it happen a thousand times. These ladies are truly concerned for their fellow person. They show an amazing amount of love for each other. And the love I am referring to is Agape Love. God’s love, the love of a friend, the love for human kind. These women are a fine example of how a Christian should be. I am honored to be a part of them.

And then I have met some wonderful people on line from other blogs, they accidentally stumbled in here, or by divine grace they were led into my life. And I care about these people and I know they care about me. If I were to tell them that I was hurting, they would be there in a second to offer prayers and support. These people are my friends. And the funny thing is, I don’t even know what they look like or their real names. Of course I do know some real names, but the majority are the names used on the internet. I don’t even know what they look like in real life or what their voices sound like. But they are friends just the same.

I have come to know and then to respect them and then to care about them and then to love them. (again I am referring to Agape Love). And no, they are no all gay and no they are not all Christian. But they are wonderful people who have touched my life and my heart. I would love the chance to meet all of these people and to be able to tell them face to face what a difference they have made in my life.

My minister asked us to write down the names of people we would like to pray for a few Sundays ago and my list read like a story book cast. There were a few names but most were avatars and pseudo name used on the internet. There were initials and first names and even just pictures that represented the people I was praying for. But I trust that God knew who I meant.

I just want to say to all of my internet friends, Thank you. Thank you for being a huge part of my life and thank you for caring and allowing me to care for you. You know who you are.


September 10, 2008 at 12:53 am 20 comments

I HATE Dial-up

Yes I said it.  I said the “H” word and I meant it.  As a kid I wasn’t allowed to say that word so I had to say that I didn’t care for something or it was on the bottom of the list of things I liked.  But Today I am saying it loudly and passionately.  I Hate dial-up.  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

Maybe I should explain my silly, childish, outburst.  It all started Saturday evening.  I confidently moved my mouse and clicked on the cute little icon I always use to gain internet connection.  I heard the modem kick in, I heard it dialing as usual, and I even got to listen to the “internet music” as my computer and my server’s struck up their conversation.  But then it happened.  The infamous error code, the one that can strike terror in your heart, the one that says that my username or password was invalid.   Click.  They hung up on me.

Now every once in a while my server will poop itself and it takes an hour or so for them to clean up the mess and re-diaper their baby and then connection can happen as usual.  So I really wasn’t too worried about it.  It was late and I figured they would have their mess cleaned up by morning and I would get on line then.  Wrong.  Same damn error code.  I even set the computer to keep re-dialing while I went to Church.  I got home and still I was being told I was invalid.

And this went on all day Sunday and Monday.  Now my self-esteem was getting a bit shaky by being told repeatedly that I was invalid.  Why do they have to phrase it in that way?  Why make it so harsh?  Why can’t the server say something like, “I’m terribly sorry, but we just can’t seem to recognize you today.  Maybe it is our glasses.  Its nothing with you, it is totally our fault.  Please call this 800 number so we can have the pleasure of meeting you again.”?

And speaking of a phone number, My server was bought out by a company in Virginia, so they are not located in my phone book.  This I know because I spent hours pouring through it, desperately wiping the sweat from my brow, fitfully seeking, a number that could be used to contact them.  I even called a store that sells computers thinking they may have numbers to internet providers in this area.  But the guy I talked to said they didn’t have any of the numbers, but if I visited their website, he was sure I would find it there.  Which was a wonderful idea and would have worked well,  If I could get connected to the internet in the first place !!!! 

I really wanted to scream at that point, but the kid was trying his best, so I politely thanked him for his time and hung up the phone.  Finally my mom went on line at her house and found me the number.  (She was out of town for the weekend which is why I didn’t call her first)  So last night I called the number, waited 18 minutes, and finally had a live person to talk to.  All I had to do was change the access number my computer was trying to dial. 

For some strange reason it worked.  So now I am back in the land of internet service.  I’m glad to be back after 2 and 1/2 days of pleading, promising, and swearing.  Isn’t technology grand?

September 3, 2008 at 11:41 am 23 comments

Why I blog

I have been thinking a lot lately about blogging and posting on the Internet. A friend of mine made the statement that she couldn’t understand wanting to put out personal thoughts and risk having people blast you for them. And yes I have to admit I have been blasted a time or two, but the majority of the time it is a comfort to read the comments made.

But that led me to really look at why I started my blog. My original intent was to blog about trying to quit smoking, but I found myself writing about anything and everything else. Sure the topic has come up a time or two, but I usually have 900 other thoughts and ideas roaming around in my head. Sure my attempts to quit are important but so are the other things in my life.

But looking even deeper, Why did I start this? Why do I put my thoughts and feelings out there for all to see? The best answer I can come up with is…I’m not sure. I know that sounds like a cop-out and maybe it is, but my reasons have changed from day to day.

The altruistic side of me likes to think that maybe something I write will touch or help some one else. That in my putting my life out there, someone will find in it something to help them on their journey. Or maybe even the chance to look at homosexuals and homosexuality in a new way. Or even come to think that maybe I can be (gasp) gay and Christian. Maybe I can help someone see that although we are different we are all children of God. The straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, and whatever else we identify ourselves, are all a part of the same family. We are the children of God. But what, you may ask, about my atheist friends? I count them too. They are part of my family.

Sorry I got off an a tangent there, but back to the mission at hand. Why do I post? I wish I could say I work from my altruistic side most of the time, but in truth, I am sometimes very selfish. Sometimes I post as a way of writing in my journal and understanding what it is that I am thinking. Sometimes it is therapy for me to write things down and put it out there. How would that be therapy you ask? I figure out my thoughts, I put them down, and then I put them out there. That involves not hiding. Not hiding who I am or what I think. I spent so much of my life hiding huge parts of it from everyone else. It is therapeutic for me to be in the light and say what I think and feel.

That is the main reason I have put my real name out there. I am Kelli and I am no longer hiding. I am not hiding who I am or what I think. I had at one point thought of changing the name of my blog, but I realized that “A Wonderful Journey” best described where I am and where I want to go. So why do I blog? Some days it is for the best of reasons, and some days it is for what I can receive from putting it out there.

Sometimes things are happening in my life that I need to write about. It doesn’t matter if it is my doggie friend dying or my son getting hurt. Sometimes I need to say those words. Or maybe I am talking about 4 leaf clovers and dandelions, but in all things I feel God working. Maybe my blogging just reminds me that God is here and working in my life. Maybe that is the real reason I blog, to remind myself that God is here and will always be here for me.

July 17, 2008 at 9:25 pm 10 comments

Internet friendships

I was asked this question the other day, “Can Internet friendships be REAL friendships?” (the emphasis was hers)  I thought about it for a minute and then I said that yes they are.  Are they the conventional friendships I grew up with?  Not even close, they are very different in a lot of ways, both good and bad.

The biggest difference would be the fact that I have never talked to my internet friends face to face or even on the phone.  Heck, I don’t even know what the majority looks like.  I have never laid my eyes on them or even saw pictures.  I don’t know what their voices sound like and I may never know.  But that has its advantages too. 

You get to read a person’s thoughts and feelings on any given subject.  And the anonymity of it all allows people to say what they are really thinking.  People may be freer to say what is in their hearts if they don’t have to say it to someones face and watch the reaction.  I think people can be more honest. 

But there is a flip side to that as well.  I could be thinking that I am talking to a wonderful lady from Maine and in fact it be a balding, beer-bellied, man from New York that gets his kicks from talking to lesbians on line.  And maybe that is the case with one or two people.  But for the most part, I trust people are who they say they are.  And it is the same way in conventional friendships.  You may meet someone and think they are a wonderful person only to later find out that are a mean person who stabs you in the back.

What makes a friendship real is the intent and care that comes from it.  No I may never sit down and share a cup of coffee with them or see them with their families at a picnic, but we can relate in different ways.  When someone tells me they are having a rough time, I can empathise with them and pray for them.  When I am in a rough patch, they let me know that they are there for me.  I feel concern when I don’t see them on line for a few days or a week.  And I am glad to see them when they get back. 

I can ask for prayers and I can get understanding.  The internet and the friendships formed from it, are a lifeline for me.  I found out that I can be Christian and gay.  I found out that I am not the only lesbian out there that was married to a man and had children.  I found out that I was not alone.  And in the reflections of my on line friends, I have come to know that I am who I was made to be.  I am a child of God, a mother to my kids, and a friend to my Internet buddies. 

So yes, these friendships are real.  And like in the  “real” world, there are levels to the friendships.  There are those that I have met, those that I have learned some about, and there are those that I care about.  And then there are those few that have a special place.  Yes Virginia, There are Internet friends.

July 16, 2008 at 1:12 pm 7 comments

Computer Blessings

Oh the blessings that comes from computers.  Trust me when I say that lately I have been cussing,  blessing, my new computer.  Now I am sure it is a very nice computer and I am sure it is only trying to do its job, but I am frustrated to no end. 

Problem #1.  My new computer didn’t come with word or works so no spell check.  So I have to scurry around and try to find the disks for my old computer so I can install these programs that should have already been on it.  I mean really, everybody uses the word program.  Even if it is just to write down Great-Aunt Susie’s recipe for Texas hash.


Problem #2.  I am on dial up and it is extremely slow.  I have been trying for two days to download yahoo messenger so I can IM my friends and read my email.  I forgot how much it takes to get a new computer set up.  It is kinda like a new puppy.  They are cute and new and the kids promise to walk them, but it always ends up being Mom’s responsibility.  And even if the computer is cute and new, I’m the one walking it.


Problem #3.  All of my pictures and music is on the old computer so I have to go back, copy to disk, forget which ones I have already copied, get 4 copies of the same cute picture and then download to the new computer.  And then spend hours trying to delete all of the redundant copies, so how could I possibly copy the picture of the cows 5 times and miss the cute picture of the boys hugging? 


Problem #4.  The old computer was my friend, we ran, laughed, played, told each other everything…..well okay that is an exaggeration to say the least, but I have over the years tweaked the settings to have it exactly the way I wanted.  So this one may be a newer, stronger, faster model, it just doesn’t fit me yet.


Problem #5.  It just doesn’t look the same.  The friendly face is different, it has a blinking light that is driving me crazy and that is a short trip most days.  So I am searching for the black electrical tape so I can cover that annoying light.  I mean this computer doesn’t even have the ring left by the boys, once again, setting their glass of tea on top of it.   


But to be fair I should report that it does work, it does its job, it is faster and has more memory…..just not the memories.

April 20, 2008 at 1:26 pm 2 comments

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